Lost for You, I'm So Lost For You
by lemonpeel
Summary: How did this happen? One minute they were driving, singing along to the radio and the next a huge truck was plowing into them and Rachel was being propelled through the windshield. Finchel oneshot.


**A/N: Just a plot bunny I couldn't get rid of! Reviews are always greatly appreciated. :)**

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><p><em>He's shaking. He's gripping his hair and crying as he watches her gasp for breath, her eyes wide. He yells and screams for help but no one is around. <em>

"_Rachel," he whimpers. "Please, baby. Just hold on." Finn tries to find his phone in his pocket to call 911 but his hands are shaking and tears are blocking his vision._

_She's struggling to breathe and stay conscious. How did this happen? One minute they were driving, singing along to the radio and the next a huge truck was plowing into them and Rachel was being propelled through the windshield._

"_F-f-inn," her voice is tiny and scratchy, her eyes glazed and nearly rolling back into her head. _

"_I'm here, Rach," his shaky legs take him closer to where her upper body is splayed against the hood of his truck and he basically collapses against the vehicle. "Oh God, Rach. It'll be ok, baby. It'll be ok." He keeps saying the words, leaning down so that his chin is on the heated metal by her face, afraid to touch her but needing to be close—needing to see the life still in her eyes. Tears are streaming from his eyes and hers as he struggles to reassure her. "It'll be ok, I promise."_

The accident was hours ago now. Somehow help had arrived and it was all a blur as they were taken to the hospital. The other guy—a drunk driver—had died on impact. Finn had come out with only minor injuries. He had a big wound on his forehead that needed stitches, but other than that he was ok. Rachel on the other hand, was rushed into the operating room for her internal injuries.

Rachel's dads, Mr. Leroy and Mr. Hiram sat together with Burt and his mom while the rest of the Glee club was scattered through the waiting room. He sat in a corner to himself, hunched over in his seat, his fingers gripping his hair as he struggled to keep it together.

What would he do if she didn't make it? She was everything. _Everything_. He reached into his pocket and took out her engagement ring. The doctors had given her fathers a bag with all of her things and he had quickly taken her ring into his careful possession. It was just a little over two weeks ago when she had said yes. Although their families and friends had been surprised and tried to discourage them at first, they accepted that there was no stopping them. It wasn't like they were going to get married anytime in the near future.

He holds the tiny ring in the palm of his hand and closes his eyes, remembering the day he had slipped it on her finger for the first time. He loses himself in the memory and smiles slightly as he remembers the sound of her giggles in his ear as he spun her around. He remembers the way she pressed her forehead to his, happy tears clinging to her eyelashes as she whispered how much she loved him.

He feels somebody putting their hand on his shoulder before taking a seat beside him. His red-rimmed eyes look up into the eyes of his mom. Things have been a little tense lately between them ever since she told him the truth about his dad but he can't stop the steady stream of tears that fall as he looks into her sympathetic eyes.

"Oh honey," she whispers, resting her hand against his cheek. "It'll be okay, I promise." He's reminded of the words he uttered to Rachel over and over before help came and that's all it takes for him to break down against her. She wraps her arms around him and he sobs against her shoulder.

His mom runs her hand through his hair and whispers reassurances to him. "Do you really think Rachel wouldn't fight? That girl has always been a fighter and this is no different," she lets him cry against her and just rocks him back and forth while slow tears gather in her own eyes.

He jumps in surprise as he's woken from his slumber. When did he fall asleep? He looks up to see Rachel's daddy, Mr. Hiram in front of him.

"They just brought her out of surgery, son," Mr. Hiram's eyes are red-rimmed and his face looks exhausted but he holds his hand out to Finn. "Her dad and I are going to see her now and we want you to come with us."

Finn rubs the sleep away from his eyes and accepts Mr. Hiram's hand to help him up. He looks around the waiting room to see his mom still sitting next to the seat he just got up from. Burt is next to her, his arm firmly around her shoulder as she sleeps against him. Puck, Sam, and Artie are playing cards quietly in a corner while Santana, Kurt, and Blaine sit nearby. Kurt's hand is holding Santana's tightly in his lap while his head rests against Blaine.

They all look up at him and he can't even bring up enough strength to offer a smile. "Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury took the rest of the kids to the cafeteria," Mr. Hiram explains as they walk over to where Mr. Leroy is waiting for them with a doctor.

Finn struggles to understand what the doctor is explaining as they walk towards the room. Rachel's alive but still under sedation because of all her injuries. They were able to stop the bleeding and now they have to monitor her throughout the night.

They stop at a doorway and Finn feels his heart clench painfully. He looks at her tiny body lying in the hospital bed, tubes and machines all lined up around her. He bites his lip so hard he draws blood as he feels his heart breaking for his girl. Her arms are covered in bandages and there's a giant tube coming out of her mouth. He wants nothing more than to run to her and shake her awake so that he can see her brown eyes—see her beautiful eyes looking at him lovingly the way she always does. He wants to squeeze her into his arms, bury his face in her soft hair, and kiss her over and over.

He collapses into a chair at her side and takes her small, cold hand in both of his. He chokes on more tears as he brings her hand up to his mouth. He presses kisses against every fingertip, against the gentle pulse he can feel through the skin of her wrist.

People come in and out as time goes by but he stays in his chair, stays holding her tiny hand. Eventually he, Kurt, Blaine, Rachel's dads, and his parents are the only ones left in the hospital.

Kurt sits on the opposite side of him, holding Rachel's other hand while Blaine sits beside him. Burt and his mom went to get coffee while Mr. Hiram and Mr. Leroy talk to the doctors and sign insurance papers.

"She'll be ok," Kurt's whisper is the only thing heard besides the gentle beeps of the machines and their quiet breathing. "If Rachel Berry is anything, it's stubborn and there is no way she is going to let this stop her from her dreams."

Finn is able to give him a small smile. Blaine pats his shoulder and they resume silence. Finn thinks about their last conversation before the accident. They had been on the way to the movies. Rachel had been hinting for weeks that she wanted to see some movie called 'The Vow.'

"_Remind me again why I agreed to see this movie?" Finn asked as he turned the key to start the engine of his truck._

"_Because you love me," Rachel beamed and moved to kiss his cheek. "And I'll probably cry so I need you there to cuddle with me."_

_Finn rolls his eyes. "Why are you going to cry? Isn't this a romantic comedy?"_

"_Well I don't know how much _comedy_ there will be considering how sad the story is," Rachel replies._

"_What's so sad about it?" Finn glances over at her, smiling when he sees her gazing at the ring on her left hand._

_She looks over at him and blushes as she realizes he caught her staring at the ring. "Finn Hudson, did you not listen to me when I explained to you what this movie was about?" She lets out a huff and turns the radio down so that she can explain. "A couple gets into a terrible car accident and the wife loses her memory. Her husband basically has to make him fall in love with her all over again."_

"_Well what's so sad about that? You know she'll get her memory back in the end and they'll live happily ever after! Worst things could happen—at least she didn't die," Finn shrugs and looks over to see her glaring at him._

"_But her forgetting him is just as bad, if not worse than dying! The person that he knew for so long isn't really there anymore. What would you do if you had to see me every day but I couldn't remember who you were? If I couldn't remember all the things we've experienced together? If I couldn't even remember that I loved you?" Her eyes are bright and she makes big gestures with her hands. "Wouldn't you do everything you could to get me to remember you?"_

"_Well yeah, now that you put it that way," his voice is thoughtful as he thinks about what it would be like. How much it would hurt to know that the love of his life had no idea who he was. "But we're soulmates. We're tethered. I know you'd fall in love with me all over again because you and I are just meant to be together."_

_She bites her lip and takes his hand in her own. He feels the metal of her ring against his fingers and smiles, glancing over at her. Her eyes are soft and she just looks at him with so much love in her eyes that he has to fight the urge to just pull over and ravage her. _

"_I love you so much, you know?"_

_She smiles and nods her head. "I know. And I love you too." They turn the radio back on after that and sing along to some cheesy Katy Perry song before his world crashes around him._

No. Oh No. He thinks about the movie they were supposed to go see. No. What if Rachel wakes up and she doesn't remember him? What if he has to make her fall in love with him all over again? He's almost crippled with the pain as his heart starts beating frantically and his eyes go wide.

"Finn, what's wrong?" Blaine asks in surprise.

"What if it's just like that movie?" he asks. "What if she wakes up and she doesn't remember anything?" His eyes are frantic as he gets up to pace around the small room.

"Finn, you need to calm down," Kurt gets up and stands in front of him. He grabs his arm and forces Finn to look at him. "Rachel is going to be fine. She didn't have any severe brain damage; most of the damage was in her abdomen. If there was a high chance of memory loss, the doctors would have told us."

Finn's breathing slows slightly but he still looks panicked. "But you never know," he says. "Oh God, Kurt, what if she can't remember anything? What will we do?"

"You can't think like that, Finn," Blaine shakes his head. "You have to look on the bright side. You and Rachel were in a terrible accident where she got severe injuries but she's alive. She's ok. We won't know what she remembers until she wakes up so we'll deal with everything one at a time, ok?"

Kurt leads him back to his seat. "She's a survivor, our girl," Kurt smiles. "Let's just focus on that."

Finn swallows and lets out a deep sigh. The doctors would have said something if they thought she'd wake up with amnesia, right?

When it comes time for Burt and his mom to leave, she tries her best to convince Finn to come with them.

"Sweetheart, you can't stay here. Your body is probably exhausted and you need to rest," she stands in front of him and pulls on her coat but he just shakes his head.

"I'm not leaving her," he says forcefully. "I'll sleep in this chair if I have to, but I'm not leaving her."

His mom lets out a sigh and looks at Burt. "Fine," Burt says. "But you have to at least come home to shower and change. She's under sedation and she won't wake up tonight. I'll even bring you back here myself."

Finn looks at Rachel's face and gives a small nod before agreeing. "Ok."

He leans down to run his hand along her face. "I'll be back, baby, I swear," he whispers the words against her hair and presses a light kiss to her forehead.

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><p>A week. It's been an entire week since the accident and Finn has spent every minute possible at Rachel's bedside. He plays with the fingers of her hands, talks to her, and sings to her. The first night she was here, he stayed up all night singing 'Faithfully' softly under his breath to her while resting his face against her side. He's still scared that she'll wake up without her memory even though the doctors have assured him there isn't a very high chance of that happening. He feels like maybe if he sings and talks about things they both know, it'll remind her brain not to forget.<p>

He thinks about all the things he would do to make her fall in love with him again if he had to. He'd start with a picnic—just like the one she had put out when they shared their first kiss. He'd spend hours telling her about their ups and downs. How he knew as soon as he heard her voice that she had touched a special place in his heart. How even when they were apart he could always feel her. How happy she makes him and how he wants to spend the rest of his life making her just as happy.

As of this morning, she isn't under the medically induced coma anymore so it's up to her own body to wake up now. Her dads took off from work so they're at the hospital too, taking turns going home every now and again to get some rest. Members of the Glee club come and go, Kurt and Blaine usually coming to bring lunch or dinner.

Mr. Hiram is in the cafeteria right now and Finn is holding Rachel's hand while he watches some horrible daytime show on TV. He can't wait until he can look into her eyes and hear her voice again. He lets out a wide yawn and feels himself slowly start to drift off.

He almost misses the movement of fingers against his own, but his eyes open wide as he feels it. He looks at her face and sees her eyes starting to flutter, the fingers of her left hand wiggling against his palm.

"Rachel? Baby, wake up," he grins widely and leans in close to her face. He runs his fingers gently against her cheek as her eyes slowly open and adjust to the florescent lights. She looks around in confusion before her gaze lands on him. She starts gesturing to her throat.

"W-water," her voice is scratchy and she can barely get the word out but he understands. He pours water into a cup and holds it to her mouth for her.

Finn pushes the button to call the nurse and just watches her take big gulps. When she's done, he sets the cup down next to him and takes her hand again.

"Hi," he whispers, so overcome with emotion at seeing her awake and ok. He knows she's probably confused about what's going on but all he can do is lean his forehead against hers and stare into her eyes.

"Hi," her voice is still very hoarse but she smiles softly and bumps her nose against his. He let's out a mixture between a laugh and a sob, his eyes becoming misty as he sees the loving look in her brown orbs. These are the eyes of _his_ Rachel, not a Rachel without a memory. He brings his hand up to cup her cheek and meets her gaze until people start flooding her room.

He moves away and lets the doctors examine her and ask her questions, but her eyes never seem to leave his for more than a few seconds. They explain about the drunk driver; how he slammed into Finn's truck so hard that half of her body was propelled through the windshield. They explain the internal injuries and that her entire abdomen and chest was bruised and would be sore for quite a while. Finn zones everything out but the look in her eyes. He's itching to be alone with her but he knows it'll be hours before that can happen. Her other dad is on his way and he knows his parents and members of the Glee club are probably doing the same. So for now, he just gazes at her, moving back to hold her hand when she's settled.

They move her out of Intensive Care after a while. It was late now and Finn and her dads were the only ones left. He could tell how exhausted they both were from the bags under their eyes and the frequent yawns the let out.

Rachel sensed it too, because she started suggesting they head home for the night. "You two look exhausted, daddy," she explains. "You and dad should go home and get some rest. Finn will stay with me." She squeezes his hand and looks over at him with a smile.

"Are you sure, Princess?" Mr. Leroy asks, looking into her eyes concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine. Promise." They both nod and Finn can tell they're slightly relived that they can go home and get some sleep. They each press a kiss to her forehead and say goodnight to Finn before leaving the room.

As soon as they're gone Rachel turns her head to look at him. She lifts her hand to touch his face and she lets out a gasp of surprise.

"What?" Finn asks, worried. "What's wrong?"

She just lifts her left hand and frowns. "My ring! Where is my ring?"

"Oh!" He smiles and reaches into his pocket. "Don't worry, I have it." He takes her hand in his own and slips her ring back onto her finger. He'll never get over the rush he feels from doing that. "There. Right where it belongs."

Rachel grins at him and runs her fingers through his hair. "I love you, Finn."

His heart skips a beat and he grins back. "I love you so much, Rachel."

Colors explode behind his eyelids as he leans down to press his lips against hers. They kiss softly and gently, his hand reaching up to tangle in her hair. He rubs his fingers against her scalp and loses himself in the feeling of her mouth moving against his.

"Mm," she breaks away and starts to scoot her body over in the bed and he looks at her confused.

"Rach, what are you doing? You should be staying in bed."

She just shakes her head at him and motions for him to come closer. "I'm not getting out of bed, silly. I'm just making room for you." She scoots as much as she can, fluffing the pillows behind her and turning her body a little away from him. "Will you lay with me?"

"You're too sore, Rachel," as much as he wants to hold her, he doesn't want to make her uncomfortable. "You need your rest and you'd be more comfortable in that bed by yourself."

"Finn, if you were in an accident and almost died the only thing I would want to be doing would be curling up in your arms. I was the one who almost died in this situation and curling up with you is _still_ all I want to do," she raises her eyebrow and stares at him. "You holding me right now is all I need." Her voice gets softer as she whispers the last part and his heart melts.

He kicks his shoes off and slowly gets into the tiny bed with her. He's way too tall, but he molds his legs to the back of hers as best he can and carefully curls his arms around her. "I don't want to hurt you," he whispers.

"You won't, I promise," she brings his arm a little more tightly around her middle and pushes her fingers through the spaces between his. He feels the metal of her ring and lets out a sigh of relief as he slowly nuzzles his face into her neck. She's safe. She's safe and alive in his arms.

He lets out a shaky breath. "I was so scared, baby," he murmurs the words into her neck, his eyes shut tightly. "I was so terrified that I was going to lose you."

She brings their joined hands up to her mouth and kisses his knuckles. "You'll never lose me. I promise. We're getting married someday, didn't you know?"

Finn smiles against her shoulder and presses a kiss to her skin. "Can't wait," he whispers. He doesn't say anything else, just concentrates on the feeling of her breathing in and out against him. He presses his lips against her neck and her shoulder over and over again, letting the exhaustion of the last week seep in. He's been up practically every night since the accident, his dreams too plagued with nightmares to allow him any sleep.

Almost as if she can sense it, she murmurs for him to sleep. "I'm safe now, Finn. You can sleep." She rubs slow circles against his hand with her thumb.

He buries his face in her neck again and murmurs how he much he adores her. He tells her she's his whole world and she whispers back that he is hers. His breaths begin to slow and even out to match hers and he slowly falls into a deep sleep, his beautiful girl tucked safely against him.


End file.
